Monday, March 5, 2012

Evil C - The Silent Killer

I lost an aunt a year ago on the 11th of March to cancer. These days, it's never a surprise anymore whenever you hear news of someone's death due to the evil C.

She was really dear to me and we were very close. She's the aunt you run to whenever you have problems, refer to whenever you have queries, the person you call first to share good news. Her house was the hang out spot for both my brother and I when I was single, and my husband and daughter after I got married and had my daughter. We were with her all the way since she first found out about the evil C until the last days of her life.

My daughter still asks for her once in a while. She asked me where her Tok Mae was again just a few weeks ago. Said she missed her and wanted to see her. So, I had to explain to her again that she's gone and that we'd never get to see her, ever. Then, she mentioned that she remembers visiting Tok Mae at the hospital because she was sick. So, I told her, again, that Tok Mae is no longer sick and she's with the Creator and that she's happy now.

This topic of conversation between me and my daughter will happen every now and then and will happen again in a few months' time, several more times I hope, in the future. I don't mind discussing about it with her again and again because it shows that she remembers her Tok Mae still and I hope she'll remember her for quite a long time more.

Umi Mae, as I called her, always said that I was like a daughter to her. When I got married, she said that she hoped her daughter would find the right person, get married and be happy like me. When I was pregnant with my 1st child, she said that she hoped her daughter will have no problems when her time comes, like me. When I gave birth to my daughter, she hoped that her daughter would be as tough and strong as I was.

I hoped for none of that. I pray that her daughter would be a hundred times happier, tougher and stronger than I was/am just because she had a brave and wonderful mother.

I wouldn't be happy if I don't have my complete family with me. I would probably had problems if my mom weren't there to advise on my pregnancy. I certainly wouldn't have been strong and tough if my mom weren't in labour with me. And I definitely would not have dealt the way her daughter had when her mom left us on her wedding day.

Weeks before she passed, we were all busy preparing for her daughter's wedding. I had found out that I was pregnant with my second child. She was delighted upon receiving that news.

She never got to see my son.

It would be exactly a year this Sunday since she passed. Ironically, her daughter will be celebrating her 1st year anniversary with her husband on that very same day. How on earth do we celebrate that, we often ask ourselves.

Our thoughts and memories of her remains fresh and always will be in each and every one of our hearts. I really hope that my daughter remembers her well so she could tell her siblings about her cool grand aunt they didn't have the chance to meet.

Whatever it is, I know she's smiling down at us right now.

We so miss you, Umi Mae - Al Fatihah.

                                       She's not one who loves taking photos as you can see.

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